So easy to fall back into old traps

It is so easy to make lists of things to do, things to achieve, diet lists, bucket lists and so on. So easy to give advice. So easy to judge, misjudge others on their choices. So easy to think growth is only linear and that once you learn something or do something, you're forever successful.

Drinking more water, eating right, exercising, rising early, cold showers, no sugar, meditating, hanging out with friends, balancing work and outside of work hobbies.. Good list, right? As long as you stick to these elements, for-ever.

Let me tell you something.

You can fall, even though you're climbing and reaching high.

You might think "This time, everything will work out just fine" and they may not.

Sometimes, with the circumstances of life and your mental state, things seem clearer and some other days, not so much.

Of course, it is not just you who decides when things are good or bad (or is it ever you that does that?)

Sometimes a pile of shit comes into your doorbell and forces itself into your life.

The progress you have made may go to trash and make you think it never happened, you can fall back into the old traps of your mind, constant worries and anxious thoughts and self pity.

Because we are what we repeatedly do. And just because we did something once, or twice, or couple of times does not mean that habit is now forever our character trait or personality. Things take time. And I mean, a really fucking long of a time.

You can think this the other way around as well. Just because you have a bad habit you do not particularly enjoy having does not mean it will stuck with you forever.

"We are what we repeatedly do."

I'm waiting for the better days to come around, and if they weren't, I probably wouldn't be writing this, as I haven't written anything down within the past 3 months and was in misery.